Jealousy

As I flew from Phoenix to Detroit tonight, on the first of our 24 hours of fly time , 3 leg adventure to Africa, I can't help but miss Drew. I miss every part of who he is, I miss every part of who we are, and I miss every part of who I am when I'm with him. Don't worry, this blog is not all about Drew. It's about how God used my desire to see Drew and my longing to be physically with him again to show me a bit of His heart, and maybe just maybe why He ordained such an incredible relationship to start right before we both left to do His work separately.

As I read and think and pray on this red eye flight, I can see Gods heart a little clearer tonight. "He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy...and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me. Oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, how He loves us so." I can't help but to equate my desire to see and spend time with Drew to our Heavenly Father's desire to love and spend time with not only me, but the people I am going overseas to minister to as well. Many of the people I will meet over the next 5 months, don't know who Jesus is. Can you imagine, a Father looking down on His creation, being jealous for time with them, and them not even knowing who He is? I don't know about you, but that breaks my heart, but not in a negative way. In an all-consuming overpowering type way that drives me to first my knees, and secondly to action. Our Father wants so badly to commune and love the people of South Africa, Mozambique, and Lesotho. And He chose me to go and show them that love in whatever ways He calls me to. He hasn't just called me. He has called Joshua, Megan, Lindsey, Brenna, Emily, Hannah, Heather, Mark, Katie, Cassandra, Cailee and I to this beautiful journey. And while none of us feel worthy of this call, I'm seeing more and more that His heart continually breaks the longer His people go without hearing His voice and His name. I know I'm struggling enough with not hearing from Drew daily or talking to him about whats going on in his life but once a week, but that's nothing compared to the ages and ages the people we will be ministering to have been away from Jesus and how jealous He is for their time and affection. I'm in no way saying I feel the same hurt that God feels when He looks down, but I do understand a bit more of why I'm allowed to walk down this difficult road of not speaking to Drew often because it allows me to understand the urgency of which the message I carry contains. And how nothing should stop me from spending as much time, and ultimately giving my life to spreading His word and love to those who haven't heard it in Africa.